Do you get butterflies in your stomach before performance? 😨
I think most dancers do, even experienced people too. Some people may get a little nervous, but other people may get sweaty hands, shaky legs ….or even start to panic before getting on stage!
Don’t worry, you’re not the only one.
So today’s post is a little different than my usual costuming ones, but the other day I learned this interesting way of building confidence, and I thought this may help performing dancers become more confident and shine on stage. So let’s get started!
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What quality do all confident people have in common?
So I was watching this video by a Japanese author, Daigo. It’s in Japanese, so here’s a point he made.
He basically says that if you’re having a bad day, it’s easy to think that your current situation was caused by other people or your environment.
For example, I used to think that I was never good at sports or dancing, because my mother was never good at physical activities either… so I, her daughter, shouldn’t be or can’t be good at physical activities.
…Sounds silly, but I used to believe this, and I was not confident enough to learn to dance until later in my life 🙁
But Daigo says, people who are confident in themselves have this feeling that they can control their future. They have power to influence what’s going to happen in the future.
And to train yourself to feel this way, you need to create an experience where you can easily SEE that you can change your future.
The example he used was bodybuilding.
He was never good at sports, but he decided to work on his self-confidence by working out and actually seeing that his action changed his appearance. He successfully built more muscles and became fit.
And because he was able to see that he did change his future by working out, he felt more confident and his self-confidence has helped him accomplish a lot more things in his life.
So how does this apply to dancers?
The “You Need to Gain More Experience” Myth
For dancers, people often say that you need to keep gaining performance experience in order to overcome stage fright or feel less nervous before performance.
But I’ve always wondered how true or how effective this is.
…Because I keep on hearing that even experienced dancers have stage fright!
But they have so much experience!
And I think that one of the reasons for this is because every stage has different risks – different choreography, different venue, different audience etc.
And if there’s a risk, there’s a chance of making mistakes or messing up the performance, and this causes you to worry and get nervous.
Plus the effect of each performance on your self-confidence is very vague and hard to see. You may feel good after a performance, but often it’s because of an adrenaline rush…. and the feeling of accomplishment eventually fades away…
And by next performance, you may feel just as scared as you were at your last performance. Unless you perform on a daily basis, it’s unlikely that the act of performing in front of people becomes easy quickly.
That’s why I think building confidence by simply gaining experience as a dancer takes a long, long time.
For beginner or amatuer dancers who have limited access to performance opportunities, it’s even harder, and it takes much longer.
But they are the ones who usually need most help with confidence on stage.
So what can you do?
How to Be a More Confident Dancer – a new approach
To reiterate, the Japanese author I mentioned earlier said, to build confidence, you need to create an experience where you can easily see that you can change your future.
So you need a method that gives you a clear result which you can SEE and visually reminds you of that sense of accomplishment in the future.
For this, costume making is perfect for dancers. 🙂
You don’t even have to make a complete costume. Just start from making an armband to wear with a costume you have. Or a simple bra top.
What this does is, you can visually see the starting point – fabric. You can visually see the end result – a costume.
You can visually see your power, which is, that you turned a piece of fabric into a wearable costume. You can SEE that you changed your future with your own hands.
Of course, you may make mistakes along the way, or your project may not turn out the way you envisioned at first – but you’ll learn what to do and what not to do from the experience, and you’ll see that your project evolves as you work on it.
Key is to just do it and keep doing it – no matter if you think your first project is a huge success or a complete failure. If your first project is a complete failure, do another one. And another one. Start with an easy hip scarf or an accessory if you’re new.
And with each project, you’ll clearly SEE your progress.
And in no time you’ll realize you’re slowly gaining confidence in costume making, and it’ll have a ripple effect on your dancing, your career, your life.
How do I know this?
I know this because I went through it myself.
When I started making costumes, I had already had several years of dance experience under my belt, but I never felt confident enough to make my own choreography – let alone perform it in front of people. All I did was follow my teacher’s directions.
But after creating my first belly dance bra and belt, I started to feel something different. It took months and a few revisions and help from other people, but once I wore them, received compliments from other dancers, and performed in what I created, I felt so good about myself. I felt more confident. More empowered.
I can SEE what I created and I KNOW I turned some fabrics into this beautiful bra & belt!
After that I tried creating my own choreography and performed it. I initiated projects with other dancers. Other dancers saw that, and started treating me as another dancer, not someone’s student. That gave me more confidence.
See the ripple effect?
One of my favourite comments I hear from Sparkly Belly audience is, “I never thought I could make something like this myself!” This comment shows that their self-confidence is growing, because they can see the results.
So if you’ve struggled with self-confidence as a dancer, I highly recommend you give costume making a try, and see how you feel.
You’ve got nothing to lose. At the very least, you’ll gain new skills and new costumes and more exciting performances! I really hope your future performances are going to be less stressful and more fun! 🙂
Some of you may feel, “But Mao, I’m completely new to costume making, and I don’t even know where to start!”
Here’s good news – In the next couple of weeks, I’m going to do Back to Basic series. How do you start making dance costumes? What tools do I need? How to I pick fabric? I’ll answer all these questions in the next videos 🙂
So if you’re curious, make sure to sign up for my newsletter so you won’t miss the next series!
Click here to sign up for Sparkly Belly newsletter & start building new skills and confidence!
And if you know a dancer who could benefit from this post, let’s share love and share this video with them. They will appreciate that your care 🙂
Thanks for reading, and keep sparkling!
P.S. Pin this image for future reference 🙂
Mao, thank you so much for this great post. Had not really looked at confidence building in this way. I really appreciate this very doable approach and your inspiring and motivating message. Diane Swanson
It’s my pleasure, Diane! So glad to hear you liked it 🙂
I still get nervous but it got better when I stopped working with the music I thought that others expected me to use. I started choreographing with the music that called to me. I can tap into the feelings on stage. I also recently cut ties with a toxic family member and that has upped my general confidence.
Good point, Jillian! Sometimes what we perceive as other people’s expectation can really make us doubt ourselves!
I am not a belly dancer, I’m a freestyle semi-nude dancer. I did roller skating competitive dance and know the case of nerves you’re talking about. Absolute numbing fear that would make easy movement almost impossible. But I did make it to Nationals and danced with one of the top senior roller skaters in the Country. I took ballet, and ballroom dance to help with my skating. I quit in 1993 and just skated for fun. I stopped skating in 2001. In 2013 I became a nudist and started dancing at nightclubs. About two years ago, I started making my own garments. I use sheer silk chiffon, it’s like dancing with air! With the movement of my garments, my inhibition to move left! All I have to do is follow the movement of my outfit! I’m considered, by many, the top dancer at the resort where I live. Now, the kicker, I’m 70 years old!
I follow your blog to see if anything inspires me on my outfits, since I sew for myself and to sell locally. Most of what you have is too restricted for me, but I am thinking of modifying your skirts to sell to younger dancers. Now, I’ll give you something to think about…I know you don’t think nude, but what if you had layers of chiffon over something semi-transparent? Think Salome and the dance of the seven veils. You don’t have to drop them, but the movement of sheer silk is mesmerizing. Hope it give you something to think about….I know what I wear is gorgeous! Thanks for all your work and inspiration! Enjoy you dancing! Sharon
Wow, this is a fascinating story, Sharon, thank you so much for sharing!
I totally agree about the movement of silk. Yesterday I just watched a great show where a dancer was dancing with a simple, plain white silk veil… and I was mesmerized by that piece of silk fabric. Of course, the dancer skillfully moved it, which made it amazingly beautiful… but I just loved how the silk veil gracefully changed shaped in the air!
Would love to see your costumes one day, Sharon! Your description of the layers of chiffon is very intriguing 🙂
I have been dancing since the 70’s. I luv dancing to live music. It’s not that i don’t like pre recorded music, but i can express myself better. I can interact with the audience..Troup dancing is good, but everyone has to do the same thing. Anyway before i go on i get excited when soloing, with troup, a little edgy. As for my age, i am 80 and proud of it. As should Sharon. that is my story! (:
Super cool, Marion! Thank you for sharing 🙂 Ahhh…. live music!!!
Thank you very much, Mao, I loved this post. And I think it’s very useful for everyone who performs in front of the public. It’s because of these things that I love Sprakly-Belly, it’s fantastic.
I´m an amateur. But I have performed regularly in restaurants, very close to the audience. In my case one of the things that helped me overcome the fear before a presentation, was to understand the origin of belly dance. This is not a dance like ballet or the western dances. The Raqs Sharqui is more about feeling the music, and transmitting what we like most about a particular melody or rhythm, so that those who see it, discover through our movements what we like about the music we choose. In this way, there is no way to make mistakes, because we understand that it is not about who raise the leg higher or who can bend more. We do not have to fill any expectations, all we have to do is love the music we choose, put on a costume that we love, and if we ourselves make that costume with our own hands, even though it’s simple, it will be even more authentic, because it will be impregnated with our essence, and know that nobody can dance like us, so each one of us is an unique gift for the audience.
The mere fact of daring to step on stage, dressed in something that we ourselves have created, and dancing in front of everyone is worthy of respect and admiration, and a huge display of courage and self-confidence, so there is no shame on feeling a little nervous before the show, we have to love those nerves because they are the most beautiful feeling of a dancer, the feeling that tells us that we are about to become one with music.
Well said, Dary!! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!
I love how you mentioned understanding the origin of belly dance. This art form has evolved so much over time, incorporating different elements and stylizing from different dance styles, which made it so difficult for me to grasp what’s “correct” – correct music selection, correct flow of choreography, correct use of stage… correct facial expression even!!
But like you said, it all started with people loving the music and moving their bodies as they feel it… that’s very important to remember! At the end of the day, people love dancers that are fully enjoying themselves on stage 🙂
So true! I have yet to create my own dance costume, since I’ve been away from it for a few years now, but I do know what it feels like. I grew up as one of the very few low-income students in my school district, so needless to say I was hardly anywhere on the social scale. After eight years of reminders that I was bottom of the barrel, I think I finally snapped. Throughout high school I had designed my friends’ prom dresses, and thanks to my mom they were beautiful! I had one design that was my absolute dream dress, and by golly I made that sucker by hand and wore it to my senior prom. I knew I wasn’t the prettiest or the most popular or anything to everyone else that night, but it was the first time I was actually able to hold my head up and be proud. I was in MY creation and felt like the belle of the ball. 🙂 Looking back at pictures, I really should have chosen a different silhouette for my shape, but that night I didn’t care. I reeked of the confidence that for so long had been hidden away. It really is amazing what one piece of fabric can do! 🙂
What a beautiful story! Yes, what you wear really affects how you feel, and when it’s your own masterpiece that’s different from everyone else’s, that’s a wonderful expression of who you are – how empowering and liberating! Thanks for sharing, Bambi! 🙂
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